I called for ah Xia in the increasingly thick night.
At first, I spoke in a low voice, and then I spoke louder and louder.
I repeat a hundred times that I love her, and I swear I will never separate from her.
I am willing to give up everything in the world in order to hear her gentle voice again.
It should be said that ah Xia is the most perfect woman, although she is always 17 or 18 years old, with a dark round face, childish cheeks and bright black eyes.
I was deeply moved.
Through the heavy curtain of years, I saw her voice and smile.
She was sitting by the sunny window of an ancient building, embroidering, gently hanging down her long eyelashes and weaving thoughts that she could not explain.
Occasionally, she came outdoors with a bright song and ran on the broken wall on the edge of the cliff in a body-building posture similar to a goat.
You’ll think she smiles strangely, as if it’s not what she sees, but a variety of ideas that run into her mind.
Her eyes, which narrowed half savagely and half happily, proved the secret of this character.
“Her every move has an unstable factor: This is a wild seedling that has not been grafted for a long time, and this is still fermenting wine.
” Turgenev annotated with his gloomy baritone.
I often ask myself, what does this novel named after ah Xia tell us? EN, a young aristocrat wandering in a foreign country, met a Russian girl ah Xia on the Bank of the beautiful Rhine River.
Their common homesickness and homesickness made them feel like old friends at first sight, and then admired each other in frequent contact.
When he learned about ah Xia’s unfortunate life experience (she was the illegitimate daughter of a noble family), his vain and cowardly nature made him hesitate in the face of happiness, which greatly hurt ah Xia’s sensitive heart.
She reluctantly brushed past happiness and completely disappeared from grace’s vision.
After repentance, en searched everywhere and failed to reappear the shadow of ah Xia all her life.
I almost read it as a fable about happiness.
In the vast sea of people, we may be in constant pursuit, or we may know each other with another tacit heart at any time, and collide with sporadic sparks in the gentle look at each other – you know, it may lead to the flame covering our emotional airspace, which is its precious reason.
If we fail to grasp the moment that makes the soul tremble, things will change.
Even if we pay a heavy price, we can’t be brilliant again.
People leave in the moonlight with such a harsh attitude of regret and regret.
If we blame the erratic love for this, we might as well blame ourselves first, and blame our beliefs or impulses for coming late, resulting in the failure of the two sides in love to extend firm arms to each other in time.
As the theme music of a Xia reveals, “I will be happy tomorrow! But happiness has no tomorrow and happiness has no yesterday.
it does not remember the past and does not think of the future.
it is only the present – and not a day – just a moment.
” This piece of inner music is accompanied by a plot similar to a flash in the pan.
A Xia couldn’t restrain the waves of emotion, so she carefully arranged the time and place of the date.
She wrapped her long shawl and curled up in a chair near the window, waiting like a frightened bird, ready to hold out a complete heart.
The hero, en, faced with this sudden confession, was also short-term gratified, but he was at a loss in the face of a typhoon and subconsciously relieved himself with blind blame.
A Xia, who suffered setbacks, jumped up with unimaginable strength and disappeared at the end of the corridor like lightning.
The predestined appointment was interrupted too hastily.
Well, in the process of looking for ah Xia, he finally felt the late love.
With tears in his eyes, he called for ah Xia in the wind and in the wilderness, and told him that he loved her again and again.
He prepared to respond to ah Xia’s confession the next morning.
He believed that “tomorrow will be happy”.
In fact, the next day to meet him, it was an empty scene, an emotional ruin that could not be rebuilt.
“The devil in me prevented me from confessing what I had said, so the last glimmer of hope I could grasp slipped out of my hand.
” A long time later, I still saw the hero en walking through the romantic vineyard and all the streets of the small town looking for Xia’s back and the sunrise like luster in his eyes.
He called ah Xia with the loudest voice in his life, as if he could call back the opportunity to turn around and leave.
However, only the wind heard.
At the moment, ah Xia is probably hiding in the most unnoticed corner of the world, or in a huge wound that cannot be healed in her life, trembling like a startled leaf.
This is the cruelty of youth, and this is the torture of love to both sides.
In my memory, ah Xia is always the girl I met at the best moment of my life, and always the last time I saw her lying on the back of a low wooden chair.
I appreciate ah Xia not only because of her lively nature and the beauty of her face – she cut a short black hair like a boy, A large lock, a large lock rolled up and fell on the neck and ears.
When she went out, she put on a naughty straw hat, imitated the handsome shepherd, patrolled the open field, and broke a green branch as a walking stick.
It should be said that what attracts me most is ah Xia’s heart, which is a little melancholy covered by external joy.
When her expression is stagnant (such as drooping her eyelashes, watering flowers around the ancient castle, or waiting for her lover’s footsteps in confusion), her forehead is as white as marble, and her eyes are as loose as staring at something in the distance.
No one can explain what she saw.
I think she is observing the inner scene, which is full of repressed flames and endless waves.
As Turgenev deliberately described, ah Xia has a character similar to gunpowder: if she doesn’t like anyone, she will be controlled by lasting reason and calm, like a frozen lake.
However, once in love, I’m afraid a gentle glance can ignite it.
The rising ruddy of her face proves that the explosion in her heart can be heard.
She can’t hide her mind like an ordinary girl.
She will be tortured by irresistible shyness and fear until her youth resume is destroyedIt was devastated.
Such a mind is specially created for true love.
It transcends the secular world and seeks the convergence of material and spirit.
Such a soul may bear misfortune at any time, so it has tragic beauty.
Due to her life experience, ah Xia endured the double torture of inferiority and self-esteem in her childhood.
She has been shrouded in the shadow of loneliness and paranoia for a long time, like a plant with a little morbid but still stubborn growth.
The pressure she bravely withstood was unimaginable to ordinary people.
Similarly, “she can’t stand anything else a girl can stand”, such as wandering love, because it exceeds the limit of flexibility in her character.
When I think of ah Xia who is missing, I think of the scene that the fragile dead branches are finally broken by the snow, and the breaking sound that seems so slight that it is almost inaudible, but actually rings through my life.
Innocence and purity constitute a Xia’s charm.
When she only heard her sweetheart’s footsteps outside the window, she blushed, which at least proved the degree of concealment of an introverted girl’s heart.
I seem to witness ah Xia and en waltzing indoors.
Her pale and excited face, her almost closed eyes and fluttering curls make it easy to think of the intoxication of a beautiful flag in the wind.
I really want to pray for her: May the wind not stop today! I hope she will get the happiness she deserves as compensation for her unfortunate fate.
Ah Xia is always at the age of a piece of white paper in my mind.
She meditates on the legend of listed Lai and the long poem yevgeni Onegin.
“I wish I were dajiyana among them!” Or as she whispered to en, “if only you and I had become birds – we can fly as we want, and we can hover as we want.
We can disappear in this blue sky!” It can be seen that her heart is not limited to reality.
“Unfortunately, we are not birds.
” I seemed to hear the girl’s heavy sigh.
Ah Xia wrote to Ryan as if she trusted the whole world.
She repeatedly asked, “tell me something, whatever you want.
” EN’s life is always an unknown field for her, so there is a mysterious temptation.
Did she think that she would suddenly lose it as if it were involved.
Because “we are not birds”, the reality is not to rely on fledgling wings to detect the clear sky.
Ah Xia’s feelings aroused in my heart, that kind of hot, gentle and deep feelings, will not be reborn.
No pair of eyes can replace the pair of eyes that look at me with the light of love.
Let’s continue to discuss the topic of happiness.
“A Xia” revolves around the hero and heroine’s several dates after they first met.
Each time they meet, they leave a deep impression on themselves and each other, and constitute ups and downs of emotional waves.
No wonder Chernychevsky once commented on this work reflecting the social life of aristocrats in the 19th century with the title of a Russian on a date.
When a Xia appeared in En’s vision with her wayward and beautiful demeanor, he felt a sweet sleepiness caused by aimless and boundless hope, which was the embryonic state of happiness.
“The desire for happiness has kindled in my heart.
I dare not say its name yet – but happiness, happiness that has reached saturation – this is what I desire and what I strive for.
” When en knew that ah Xia was ready to express his love, he went to the appointment with no ease.
He was as afraid of fulfilling his promise and taking responsibility as he was afraid of completing an arduous task.
“Now happiness is possible – I become, I push it away, I have to push it away.
” The sudden arrival of love disturbed him.
It was this cowardice and hesitation that made him unable to retain the happy visit, and the happy knock on the door never sounded twice in a row.
Therefore, not believing in yourself is more terrible than not believing in anyone.
A person without confidence cannot control the direction of an uncertain destiny.
All this reflects ah Xia’s noble and beautiful.
Her desire for emotion has no additional conditions.
She is eager for love to appear from the horizon like dreaming of a spring in the desert.
Although the imaginary camel bell makes everything quiet, after all, she has shown the most perfect attitude of welcome.
The girl’s prayer is as expensive as silver and removes impurities.
The girl’s feelings are the high hanging moon, which reflects the change of seasons in her heart.
It doesn’t keep blazing like the sun, but it also avoids the triviality and illusion of stars.
It gently spreads the light like petals, even if it is haggard and broken in self torture.
I understand why ah Xia escaped from grace’s vision with grief, not entirely because of loneliness, but because happiness is fragile, and the lost happiness is more difficult to repair than the broken vase.
Ah Xia disappeared behind the curtain in a running posture, as if she had never appeared.
Xia wrote that she never knew what a happy place to be in Germany was like when she met ah Xia in the famous wine city.
When the song ended and the people dispersed, the moon shrouded the Rhine River.
En stepped into the ferry boat and floated along the fast current.
Ah Xia, who saw her off on the shore, suddenly shouted, “you drove into the moon and broke it.
” Well, looking around, there were only dark waves shaking around the boat.
When he abandoned the boat and landed, he found that there was a reflection of the moon on the water.
The moon a Xia refers to is actually the shadow of the moon, just as the love a Xia pursues is essentially an illusion.
Although they are equally bright and vivid, they are out of reach and easy to break.
This story happened on the Bank of the beautiful Rhine makes me subconsciously think of Pushkin’s melancholy poem: beauty, please don’t sing to me, the song of Georgia is too desolate, it reminds me of another life, it reminds me of distant places.
Ah Xia is an extraordinary Russian girl, who knows how to pay attention to the ambiguous moon through the realistic water.
Ah Xia’s heart, even ah Xia herself, is a moon that yearns for perfection but has to accept contusion in reality.
I appreciate ah Xia, not as a misty literary imageI almost believe that she did exist in this world.